


The Nuances of your Breath (im in love)

by littlebluewhalen



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hallelujah, Kind of a songfic?, Songfic, Trauma Recovery, also i used this as an abstract writing exercise, ash/misty - Freeform, everyone deals with shit differently, finding comfort in each other, his was supposed to be from serena's pov originally? idk i love serena angst, i have NO idea what this turned into, pokeshipping - Freeform, shoutout to jeff buckley, slight trauma, slightly nsfw kind of??? not really, this is the only productive thing ive done today
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21765814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebluewhalen/pseuds/littlebluewhalen
Summary: Lost in the glimmer of moonlight, forgotten in the throes of their love, deeply rooted in affection; they're there for each other after everything. Hearts are broken and mended and broken again, because that's life.
Relationships: Kasumi | Misty/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum
Kudos: 10





	The Nuances of your Breath (im in love)

_Well, I heard there was a sacred chord  
That David played and it pleased the lord,  
But you don’t really care for music,  
Do you?_

Serena’s eyes focused on the couple in front of her, but her mind was worlds and worlds away. Her mind simply felt like multiple trains were colliding into each other over, and over, and over again.  
Did she know? Did she know that he looked at her with complete and total reverence and dedication? Did she know how he felt for her, how he would move planets and capture stars for her? Did she know how badly it hurt, to watch him love her so fiercely, so completely, so whole-heartedly that his entire being gravitated within her orbit?

_Well it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall and the major lift,  
The baffled King composing Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Serena shook herself out of her reverie, her dead eyes tracing his every movement, his every word, his every breath he drew.  
His arms encircled her waist in a forced bear hug, and she was pretending like she didn’t like it, her hands on his forearms, shouting at him with a grin on her face.  
He nuzzled his face into her neck as she squealed, and Serena never knew that your heart could break over and over. She was stuck in perpetual agony, her heart mending itself just to be crushed by the weight of her feelings once more. She drew a shaky breath and on one, two, three…  
Her legs started moving before she could even process any viable thoughts she had. She didn’t notice Bonnie or Clemont staring, gauging her reactions, wondering if she’d crumble like a sea stack against the riptide.  


“You must be Misty!” Her voice echoed in her own ears but the only thing she could hear was the pounding of her own heart. Her voice was chipper from what she could tell, but she really wasn’t here.  


“I am! You’re Serena, right?”  
Oh, and Misty was so kind. She held her hand out pleasantly- the one that wasn’t holding Ash’s, she noticed – and Serena took it gently, hoping her eyes seemed normal, hoping Misty couldn’t see into the shell she turned into. She felt like a Shedinja.  


“Oh, so he has talked about us!” Serena felt herself joke back, and Misty’s laughed danced around their ears, and Serena swore she heard the angel choir sing. She was beautiful and Serena could instantly understand why Ash was so caught up in her very essence.

_Well your faith was strong, but you needed proof,  
And you saw her bathing on the roof,  
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you.  
She tied you to her kitchen chair,  
She broke your throne and cut your hair,  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah.  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah_

Misty let slip a few tears, unabashedly, unashamedly, as she hugged the man close to her chest, melting into the embrace, forever and ever, limitlessly falling in love. His arms wrapped around her form tightly, his face nuzzled into the soft locks of her hair, their hearts beating in synchronous harmony.  


“I love you, I love you, I love you,” He mumbled endlessly, kissing the top of her hair, one after the other, just simply feeling her soul, feeling her love, her warmth.  
He had been gone too long, far too long. This was one of his longest journeys yet; two years without hearing her hell-raising voice, without feeling her fire, without basking in the heat of her carnal passion and desire, without drowning in her, without breathing her in and existing on her every whim.  


It wasn’t his fault these world-shattering events always happened to him. He would always do his best and somehow remained miraculously in-tact afterwards, and he would come home drained and exhausted and she would heal his every tear and scar, kissing his soul clean once more, drawing him into the light of her unconditional love.  
Her hands hugged him tightly and then her hands roved the pathways of his body that she new so well, feeling his every contour, his every muscle, releasing the tension, the pain, the hurt. She just felt him, trying to understand that he was here, he was alive, he was real. This was real, and she would be damned if any force pulled them apart again. This is where he belonged, she thought; in the home of her arms.  


“I don’t say it enough.” He said lowly, and Misty laughed a watery, broken-sounded laugh, because they both knew that he said it in any silence that existed between them, and he would always shout it into the void, he would shout it from the mountaintops he climbed, he would say it in the space between their bodies at night, kissing her forehead tenderly as her soul crashed into his, recklessly, dangerously, irrevocably.  


“You scared the hell out of me. Never, ever, ever do that again. I can’t be without you, you idiot.” Misty mumbled into his chest, her hands stilling and grasping onto his shirt. He agreed readily, although they both knew it wasn’t his decision, it never really was, it never really is.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah_

“Yeah, he always talks about the friends he makes! I’m so glad I get to meet you all in person, even though I can’t travel much.” She said kindly, turning her attention towards his other two friends, and pretending like she couldn’t see Serena’s entire being cracking, sparing the girl. She seemed like a kind person and Misty couldn’t hate her; there was no reason. What she and Ash have was out of reach, so far into the exosphere that they couldn’t be touched by the feelings of someone like Serena.  


“I wish it was over better circumstances.” Clemont tacked on, shaking the flame-haired girl’s hand. She laughed lightly, but Ash’s thumb smoothed over her hand, realizing the strain on her voice that no one else would notice.  
But he did, and he always would, because their destinies were intertwined eternally. He knew her inside out, back to front, because she was his favorite book that he never tires of reading.  


“Yeah, same here! I’m just glad you’re all safe and okay. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened and Mr. Chosen One has had to save the day and reign in legendaries or whatever.” She responded, moving to shake Bonnie’s hand as well, feeling Ash squeeze hers.  


“Yeah, but you were by my side for a lot of those.” He added on, pulling her back to his side once the introductions were done with, detaching his hand from hers, only to snake it around her waist. She sighed then, her façade breaking, only slightly.  


“Yeah. Anyway, we should get some rest, I’m sure you all could sleep for eternity.” She said kindly, smiling lightly at all of them, and they felt a soothing, maternal feeling wash over them.

_But baby I’ve been here before,  
I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor,  
I used to live alone before I knew you  
But I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch,  
And love is not a victory march,  
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah._

They settled into their hotels for the night, Misty insisting that they have a night spent in luxury comfort after the ordeal that they’d been through, with the whole ‘saving the world with Victini and disappearing for almost a year’ thing.  
Misty had gotten them whatever they wanted – the money she had from running the gym and being an Elite Four comfortably padding her pockets – and they had gotten two rooms; Misty and Ash in one, the other three in one.  
Now they were all casually lounging around she and Ash’s room, watching TV, not saying much, but not wanting to be alone, really.  


“Was it real?”  


The voice that spoke up into the darkness of the night was Bonnie’s, so young and scared and unused to the horrors of the world. In a world where people formed connections with these mini monsters, fight them and dress them up and love them to pieces, it was hard to remember at times that Pokémon really were eldritch horrors.  


“Yeah.” Serena’s quiet voice shakily rose into the silent space between them, and Ash’s hand came onto her shoulder comfortingly, as Bonnie moved to hug her as well. Clemont stared at the television, watching the news reel about the damage done to Unova absently, and he snapped his eyes to his sister’s and patted her head.  


Misty hung back as the group of friends relaxed in each other’s embrace, a gap filled, a bridge constructed, and the dam broke.  
Bonnie was the first to cry, and soon, they were all crying, the only one keeping it together Ash. He’d been through these things many times before over the last decade, his mind and soul was jaded from all the near-death experiences.  


“Pikachupi?”  


Misty looked down at the rodent next to her, and gathered him in her arms, kissing the top of his head. He instantly relaxed in her arms, and she whispered reassurances to him, knowing that he – and Ash’s other Pokémon – were the main reason he was still alive.  


“You okay, buddy?” Her voice whispered in the wind, not wanting to disturb the mosaic that was happening on the floor next to the bed of the hotel room. Pikachu’s response was a chirp, and he dug further into her arms.  


Misty stared blankly ahead, trying not to dive into the swarm of emotions she was feeling. She was hurt and scared and confused and worried and she didn’t know how to feel. She wasn’t there for it, she shouldn’t be feeling what they were feeling; she’d had her heart and soul broken over the course of the last ten months, wondering where her soulmate, her other half, the love of her life went. She and Delia had forged an unbreakable bond, crying over the boy they both loved, trying to piece together the mystery.  


His voice washed over her, snapping her out of her whirlpool of thoughts. A warm, rough hand smoothed over her cheek softly, and she looked up into his endless, warm brown eyes, and he kissed her softly. A reassurance, an affirmation, a grounding touch. She hadn’t even realized she’d started crying again, or that Pikachu had fallen asleep. She blinked her cerulean eyes one, two, three times and looked over to his friends, who were asleep. She smiled lightly, knowing how exhausted they must be. She moved on her own, grabbing the extra blanket set out on the bed and gently throwing it over them.

_There was a time when you let me know  
What’s really going on below  
But now you never show that to me, do you?  
But remember when I moved in you,  
And the holy dove was moving too,  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

Their friends had roused later and sleepily made their way to their own room, and Ash and Misty were left in the quiet companionship of each other. They said nothing for a bit, as they sat on the bed together, against the headboard, leaning against one another, Pikachu resting on their laps.  


“I love you.” Misty whispered into the night, not really looking at him, not really needing to.  


“I love you too.” His answer was quick, immediate, as if he was bursting at his seams to say it, to proclaim his love to her every chance he got.  


“I was scared.” She said again, not used to unravelling her threads and baring her soul to the void.  


“Yeah. I’m sorry.” He replied simply, grabbing her around the waist and swiftly moving Pikachu onto her lap, and plopping her into his. He set his chin on her head and let out a breath, his shoulders sagging with the weight of the world.  


“I don’t know who I am without you. I’ve known you since I was ten.” Her words were naked and true and the only witness to her vulnerability was Arceus and the droning of the news reporter that had long been forgotten on the television.  


“Yeah. You were one of my first real friends.” Ash caressed her shoulder gently, trying to make her feel as safe as she did him. Trying to heal her wounds along with his, trying to pick themselves back up and piece themselves back together, their love being their liquid gold glue.  
Somehow, somewhere along the line, Pikachu had snuggled up against Ash’s back, as he laid on his side next to his better half, as she laid on her side and looked at him, seeing through him, reading his mind like she always did.  


“When will this stop happening to you?” She asked quietly, only partly kidding. He sighed into the divide between them, knocking his forehead gently against hers.  


“God, I hope it’s soon. I don’t want to have to do this anymore.”  


And suddenly she was healing him once again, caressing his face gently, as if he held all the answers to the world, and her lips were on his, sweet and gentle and tender as the life of a lamb, the universe’s love wrapped up in their bubble, as if giving out an apology.  
His hands sidled on her waist, gently telling her that he was here, he was always with her, and unless some higher being willed it otherwise, he would always be by her side, he’d always come back to her.  
Each touch was a message, heaven-sent, and they basked in each other’s glow as soft words and breaths were exchanged, getting lost in the tangle of each other’s limbs.

_Well maybe there’s a god above,  
But all I’ve ever learned from love,  
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you  
And its not a cry that you hear at night  
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light  
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah._

He hovered above her, his eyes boring down into hers, studying her face, drinking her in in every way possible. His hand traced the shapes he knew by heart, every curve, every peak and every valley he’d committed to memory, every contour that he’d traced before.  
Her arms were hooked around his neck, delicate fingers running through the unruly hair that she adored, clawing his back lightly. Her breaths were symphonies on his ears, gasps and sighs filling her own orchestra, a choir singing heaven to him.  


“I love you, I love you, I love you,” her words were stuttered and broken but so full and heavy and he absorbed all of them like a dying man drinks water; desperately, thirstily, greedily.  
“Never leave me.” Her voice was a demand, leaving no room for question, no room for arguing. He agreed, because how couldn’t he when he was lost in the tides of her love? He couldn’t swim back to shore, and he didn’t want to, the thought had never crossed his mind. He was adrift in a sea that he could drown in, and he didn’t even try to tread the water.  


He didn’t, he couldn’t, he never would want to leave her. He was wrapped up in her so completely, so immensely, he couldn’t ever imagine not being with her, he couldn’t imagine anything else.  
She caressed his cheek softly, and he moved his head and kissed the palm of her hand, and as she felt the stubble on his chin, she wondered when they had both gotten so old, and so jaded.  
Her eyes focused on his, and as he dipped down to give her a light kiss, she followed his every move, knowing that his lips held all the secrets to the universe, knowing somehow that he had an archaic, powerful knowledge only stars should know; he held the answers she needed on his tongue, and he gladly handed them to her, as their faces met once more, and planets exploded behind her eyes as they fluttered shut, bliss overcoming her body in the wake of their trauma.  


They whispered sweet nothings to each other in the safety of their hotel room, with the TV droning on about nothing as their background noise and their only light in the pitch-black, the rain beating lightly against the tightly-shut window, the stars watching over them.  
Tomorrow, they would wake up and have to mend themselves together and be like real people again, but tonight, they would get lost in each other, loving and living and being human, bandaging each other up, kissing their wounds clean, scrubbing scars from their hearts, wiping tears away.  


Tonight, they were theirs, and theirs alone.

_Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah,  
Hallelujah_


End file.
